How to Achieve Unshakable Confidence from Our Program

Hello my dear and fellow parents,

I’d like to share some valuable insight that we’ve gained from coaching youth Jiu Jitsu over the past seven years. But I won’t waste your time. If you have zero interest in your kids becoming completely unfazed by emotional bullying, or developing the confidence that with hard work they can achieve anything they want, then you can stop reading right now. 

Having put my own daughters into the program when they were 4, I know first hand the excitement of my kids’ Jiu Jitsu journey.Hopefully like Josephine and Demi, your children were coming home after their first few classes and showing you the new things they’ve learned. But while class should be exciting and fun, it is nevertheless designed to be mentally and physically challenging, in order that students develop resilience, confidence and self control.  Resilience is the ability to persist in the face of challenge and adversity. It has been shown in multiple academic studies to be the most critical factor for success in life. And I can tell you with certainty that it is necessary for success in Jiu jitsu.  Developing resilience is not always fun and games. The reality is that less than 10% of children will be eager to get on the mats for every class, or will not want to quit at some point (or multiple points) if given the opportunity. Most children just haven’t developed the mental maturity, rationale or fortitude to willingly engage in a challenging, exhausting and sometimes scary activity in order to develop as a person and hone a skill.  We’ve found that the students who reap the most long term benefits from our program; students who develop unshakable confidence, mental fortitude and strength of character, are those students whose parents: 1) Treat Jiu Jitsu from the outset not as an activity that their kids should choose to do for fun, but as a necessary part of life that we do to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be…similar to brushing our teeth or going to school…there really is no option not to do it. 2) Motivate and encourage their kids through suggestion and positive reinforcement to get on the mats enough to make progress and build their self image, without pushing them too hard or too often that they throw up a wall. We call this frequency of training, the “sweet spot.” We’ve found that unless your child is of the 10% who is just begging you to get on the mats more, that the below frequencies are the typical sweet spot until they do:

  • 3-4 y/o: once per week
  • 5-8 y/o: twice per week
  • 9-12 y/o: three times per week
  • 13 and up: 3+ times per week 

 Chances are that like most parents, you will see a positive change in your kids behavior after a few weeks of consistent training. But real, life changing results occur over the long term. Eventually, your children will advance from the novice end of the line to the more experienced. Bigger, older students and eventually adults will come into the program who your kids will easily control and submit in sparring. They will have overcome countless obstacles and achieved new skills that they could not initially achieve or overcome upon first attempt. They will recognize socially, academically and extracurricularly the benefit of the skills and focus they have gained from the program. They will have the self-confidence not to care when someone puts them down emotionally, because they will know all that they have overcome. They will have the resilience to persist in the face of adversity and the confidence that with hard work there’s nothing they can’t achieve. Because once you’ve really trained Jiu Jitsu, everything else is pretty much easy. At that point, it will be very difficult to keep them off the mats.   It’s our job as parents to build positive self image at home and keep our kids motivated in the program at “that sweet spot” until they recognize the value in training for themselves, and choose to do it on their own, even though it’s scary and difficult. This is self-discipline.  If your child is enthusiastic at home about training, then cultivate that enthusiasm by going over the videos in our Curriculum with them and watching matches between black belts on the IBJJF  and flograppling Youtube channels. 

 – Coach Jordan 

Owner/Program Director

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LOCATION

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The JiuJitsu Mill is located in Westchester at 141 Willett Ave, Port Chester, NY 10573

REVIEWS

Astrid Vargas
14:01 28 Jun 24
The JiuJitsu Mill is fantastic! The instructors are friendly, knowledgeable and patient. This creates a supportive environment for all skill levels. I've seen great improvement in my skills and confidence since joining. I highly recommend!read more
J S
16:40 11 May 24
Absolutely fantastic gym. Instruction is world class. The coaches have deep expertise and are engaged in your goals and success. Personalized plans and feedback. The cultures is fantastic the group cares about group safety, respect, and improvement.read more
AJ Bakunas
22:31 09 May 24
The quality of teaching here is amazing and the team/family mentality makes it even more enjoyable. The training is fun and everyone always wants to make you better. If you want to learn great jiujitsu and want to enjoy doing it. I would recommend coming here.read more
Dayanara Zepeda
12:40 29 Apr 24
The experience at The Jiu Jitsu Mill is satisfied! I love the training, exercise,coach experience. The total environment is wonderful! It really makes me happy went I'm in the place sparring. I recommend 100% if you like to clean your mind and have a great fun! I also bring whit me at The Jiu Jitsu Mill my fourteen years old girl,for me is a way to connect whit my girl and also disconnected her from electronics.💪👍👊 THANK YOU COACH JORDAN WE LOVE YOU!!!😘read more
Michael Rosenthal
12:06 17 Mar 24
Very impressed with the coaches and overall experience at Jiu Jitsu Mill. My turning 6 year-old son has been attending for a little over 6 months and we've seen a ton of improvement in his skills and physical coordination. The coaches are professional and effective at engaging large groups of younger children, which is no easy feat. My son never complains about going (a first for him) and is very proud of his hard-earned stickers and ribbons! 5 stars!read more
Thomas Kampfrath
14:11 19 Feb 24
After several years of break, I started hitting the mats again and picked the Jiu Jitsu Mill as my gym. The coaches are approachable, welcoming and leading fun and enjoyable classes. All my interactions with the other students are friendly and helpful in getting me back up to speed. I appreciate the many classes that are available to me, especially the morning classes which work well for my schedule. I've been to many different gyms and can absolutely recommend The Jiu Jitsu Mill to others.read more
Justin Verghese
00:08 31 Dec 23
Came through while visiting family and had a chance to participate in the open mats. Clean, professional, academy with great culture, camaraderie, learning environment, and some top notch coaches/practitioners. Got some great work in with great people. Will definitely stop by again if/when in the area. Highly recommend!read more
AJ Connell
22:38 27 Nov 23
Dropped in for a couple classes while visiting family nearby over Thanksgiving. Everyone was incredibly welcoming and nice. Coach Jordan gives great instruction and genuinely cares about all his students.read more
Vinicius Franchin
17:45 29 Oct 23
Have always wanted to learn BJJ and ended up choosing this school off of a friends recommendation. Coach Jordan coach Jaime are both very good a what they do and are always willing to help. The people that train here are kind and there is a real sense of a community. Would highly recommend.read more
Gabriel Kaplan
21:52 19 Oct 23
My son has been attending The Jiu Jitsu Mill for roughly 6 months and we're really happy with it. From day one, Coach Jordan and the team were super welcoming. They're skilled and really good with kids. My soon-to-be 5-year-old grows more confident after every session. This place teaches discipline, helps kids tackle challenges, and ensures they have fun while learning so much.read more
Myriam Lucía Merchán Bonilla
12:08 09 Oct 23
I took my child who loves tumbling around and quite frankly I couldn't keep up. I thought it would be a good way for him to release energy while learning. It turns out the program goes beyond the discipline. The coaches ensure the kids are also building the skills to thrive as individuals and in becoming good human beings. They reward good behavior, their commitment but also their consideration for others. Most importantly they show kids how to be the best version they can be without worrying about others. I'm a huge fan of their method and strongly recommend any parent to consider them as a first option for their kids.read more
Zak Romanoff
22:07 03 Oct 23
I first noticed the Jiu Jitsu Mill driving by on the street one day. Curious to see, I brought my 5 year old son in one day to watch. We have been here for almost 6 months now, and here’s what I can tell you about The Mill. My son is quicker to defend himself from bullies at school and other sports. As parents, there are moments where we simply cannot protect our children from everything. Bullying is one of things. I have noticed my son standing up for himself more and using some of the moves learned at the mill to defend himself from overly aggressive kids at some of his other sports activities. My son is learning jiu jitsu. He knows names, terms, and practices at home. He is proud of himself- his self-confidence is growing- and shares his accomplishments with family and friends. I am proud of him. Jordan and his coaches know the names, skill level, and level of attention given by every kid in the group in each session. They are attentive. They clearly explain what is being worked on at the days class and how to do it. They watch, encourage, and support the kids. They aren’t too soft- and they aren’t too hard. They use just the right amount of discipline, cooperation, patience, and more. They are teaching kids that rewards are earned and not given. Some days are awesome, and some days are hard. They are learning competitiveness, sportsmanship, and how to overcome challenges. The wall of virtues is a terrific way to show the kids their hard work is being acknowledged and rewarded. The key to seeing success in the program is to consistently come to sessions. I lead individuals professionally and constantly look for ways to encourage more strong leadership , I recommend the Millread more
Emil Paolucci
14:52 26 Jun 23
The Jujitsu Mill is a first class experience,coach Jordan, Jamie, Nick, Elijah, and the entire team are extremely talented, knowledgeable and willing to help you grow as a student. Being a marine, I look for a place to push me, teach me and hold me accountable to be the best I can. The Jujitsu Mill does just that! I’m so grateful to be part of this family and so looking forward to be part of the jujitsu mills team for years to come. If you’re looking for jujitsu experience, I highly recommend the Jujitsu Mill.read more
Shane M
12:27 04 Jun 23
The Jiu Jitsu Mill has been a wonderful experience. I came in 3 months ago and I felt like apart of the family right away. Coach Jordan and all the other coaches do a great job promoting a competitive and welcoming environment especially for individuals (like myself) who are new to jiu jitsu. The quality of training is next to no other and they make sure to take the time to answer all of our questions during training sessions. One thing that I really want to point out is the cleanliness of the gym. Coach Jordan and his staff do a phenomenal job maintaining the mats, showers, and changing areas.read more
Jeremy King
14:31 30 May 23
I joined the Jiu Jitsu Mill with a lot of sports experience but almost no martial arts experience. This was a bit daunting at first. As a white belt, the coaches but even more importantly the students, have been so accepting and patient with me as I learn the ropes. This is a great academy with its own values and unique community that is a pleasure to be a part of.read more
Austin Allmann
11:16 14 May 23
Incredible experience at the Jiu Jitsu Mill. My 4 year old is learning coordination, discipline, and focus in an environment that is both safe and extremely fun. My 7 year old is developing all the same skills, plus growing in his physical confidence and comfort with overcoming difficulty. The transformation has been amazing in 6 months. Jordan and the other coaches are supportive and encouraging while also maintaining high expectations of the students. I couldn’t ask for a better martial arts gym for my kids. The adult classes have been great as well. As a beginner student, I don’t feel like I need to worry about injury or being pushed beyond what’s appropriate for a new student. Likewise, the advanced students are constantly looking out for the beginners and are very helpful as well. Again, couldn’t ask for a better place to train. I only wish we had joined The Jiu Jitsu Mill years ago.read more
Sangita Lama
23:56 03 Apr 23
I recently started attending classes at Jiu Jitsu Mill, and I have to say I am thoroughly impressed. One of the things I love about this gym is that it's open for conveniently, making it easy to find a class that fits into my busy schedule. The coaches at Jiu Jitsu Mill are incredibly helpful and encouraging, always pushing me to do my best and improve my technique. I've noticed a significant improvement in my skills since I started attending classes here. What excites me most is that I can't wait to enroll my daughter when she's old enough. The coaches are great with kids and make the classes fun and engaging, while still teaching them the skills they need to be successful in jiujitsu. Jiu Jitsu Mill has a great atmosphere, and the other students are friendly and supportive. Overall, I highly recommend Jiu Jitsu Mill to anyone looking to learn self-defense, get in shape, or just have fun while learning a new skill. The instructors are knowledgeable and approachable, always willing to answer questions and provide guidance.read more
Edward Cecarelli
14:28 03 Apr 23
The Jui Jitsu mill is one of the finest martial arts dojos in the region. We visited many before deciding that this dojo, and particularly Coach Jordan were the real deal. We love the professionalism he and his assistant coaches take with their students, knowing all their names, being engaged with them all at all times, even giving equal attention to them even when they are sparring against each other. He also has a non-nonsense approach, which helps instill the right discipline. There is also a consistent effort made to acknowledge student performance in each class, and performance tests are an exciting event. My son loves this class!read more
Sara Yolac
15:39 28 Mar 23
Our daughter, age 4, started at the Jiu Jitsu Mill in the fall of 2022, a little over 6 months ago. I have nothing but the best things to say about the program, philosophy and positive mindset the practice instills. Not being knowledgeable myself on anything martial arts, it was a little intimidating and it wasn’t at the top of her list for fun activities. I am beyond grateful we went for it because she is SO proud of her mat skills, which she regularly demonstrates at home for us, and most importantly, her self confidence. She was not lacking in self confidence prior to starting (at all!) however the attraction for our family was what happens off the mat - looking people in the eyes, showing respect for self and others, being responsible and making good decisions. The self defense has been a bonus! She can scrap with the best of them now, meaning her big brother and his friends. ;) 5 stars all the way!read more
Yorick van Limpt
01:45 06 Mar 23
The Jiu jitsu mill is a great place to train! The lessons are of high quality and there is a lot of attention to learn the fundamentals properly. The sparring at the end of each class may be difficult and demanding as a beginner, but it is incredibly rewarding when you can perform one of the moves you learned. There are also a variety of classes available in the morning, afternoons and evenings. The schedule is absolutely incredible and convenient for all the walks of life! All in all the mill does everything to teach you jiu jitsu and their dedication is absolutely top notch!!read more
Moses Becerril
05:55 13 Feb 23
Absolutely wonderful experience. My son (11) and Daughter (10) have been going to the Jiujitsu Mill for 7 months now, which started off tough for them, especially my son who has never showed interest in sports or martial arts and more into Books, playing instruments and chess. However, the coaches took their time to understand and work with them day in day out, along with support at home encouraging them to NOT give up, today they are both extremely happy and proud of every accomplishment they achieve. This place is a learning tool for discipline and a way to fight obstacles as well as having fun while learning a ton. Shortly after the kids joined, I joined the adult classes, to help encourage my kids when they were having a hard time adjusting early on and I’m happy to say the coaches work well with adults as they do with the kids. it’s been one of the best decisions I ever made. If you’re looking for a program that builds confidence, teaches respect, and you want a positive experience that will last a lifetime, for you or your kids, then I recommend The Jiujitsu Mill.read more
Dan Kaplan
20:59 10 Feb 23
I've been training at the Mill for about 3 months now and it has been an amazing experience that starts with the coaches. Jordan, Jamie, and Nick are everything you could hope for in a set of instructors -- knowledgeable, tough, kind -- and most importantly dedicated to their students' growth. They have created an atmosphere that is welcoming, encouraging and supportive of new students, but doesn't baby them. Expect to be pushed on day 1, but know that it will be safe and well managed. Lastly, the other students at The Mill are friendly and helpful. The upper belts can often be found helping lower belts refine techniques and offering other advice. Even beyond the jiu jitsu, it's a tight group of like-minded people who have fun training. If you've been hesitating to join a gym, join The Mill, you won't regret it.read more
Spencer Choi
23:48 04 Jan 23
Did a drop in class while visiting family in the area. The class was fantastic. Many people at the gym were very welcoming, the instruction was to the point, Jordan was very attentive and was quick to correct mistakes in everyone's form, the gym has a changing area and nice showers and the rolling was high quality and safe. Fully intend to return the next time I'm in town.read more
chris mullane
23:15 04 Jan 23
I am a white belt and visited this place while home from college on a break. Coach Jordan and his students were extremely welcoming and gave me a great experience. More importantly, I felt extremely safe while training yet was still being able to push the pace, break a sweat, and learn a lot about the sport from different students. Super glad to have found this place. I will be coming back here whenever I am home from school.read more